Messages of Sympathy: What to Say When Someone Dies

Knowing what to say when someone dies is not easy It isn't simple to write a sympathy card message either. For example, when writing your sympathy messages, you shouldn't write, "It was his time to go" which is cliche and almost offensive. Take some time and thought to choose a better message of sympathy such as, "I know that George was well loved and respected. He had great character and a big heart." Get your message of sympathy across using the best words you can.

Thinking of messages of sympathy can be a challenging and difficult process. Sympathy cards present a unique challenge in that they are for people who need comfort and support. Choosing your words carefully for your sympathy message will allow you to say what you want to get across.

Use these sample sympathy messages to help you create your own specific messages of sympathy. Combine and edit them to your situation and use the directions to help you tie together what you want to say to the grieving.

1. "I am at a loss for words. I know there is nothing for me to say that will make your loss easier. I hope you can understand what I can't put to words."

2. "__________ was a kindhearted, generous person. I was a target of his kindness and generosity"

3. "I am deeply saddened by the loss we both share. I am assured that we will be comforted by our memories and our love which is very much alive."

4. "I was saddened to hear about _________ passing. I hope and pray that you will have strength during this time of loss."

5. "My condolances"

6. "You have my deepest sympathy."

7. "I will never forget the fond memories of __________. He was a one of the most fun people to be around. He was able to effortlessly make everyone else have a good time.

8. "I am praying for you during your time of loss."

9. "We want to let you know that we are here for you if you need anything. Expect us to call you soon."

10. "I know that _________ was well loved and respected. He had great character and a big heart."

11. "Our sympathy is with you in this your time of grieving."

12. "I have never been good at writing in cards, but I don't want that to keep me from letting you know the deep sympathy I feel for you at this time."

Avoid the following cliche' messages that may offend, confuse, or generally harm the grieving person. This is not a time to display your own pride, or be shallow. Do not use these types of messages of sympathy. They are overused or even offensive messages.

1. "He had a good life."

2. "That is not fair that ________ died. Why did it have to be him. He didn't deserve to die. He was a better man than most. It's just not fair."

3. "He is finally getting some rest now. He feels no pain because he is in a better place."

4. "At least he was able to live a good, pleasurable, full, life. He lived much longer than some."

5. "I know how you feel. You'll get over it. Time heals all wounds"

6. "Try to stay positive. Everything works together for a reason."

7. "At least you're still alive, you have to be grateful for that."

8. "I guess it was just his time to go"

9. "You should get over this in a couple weeks. He will be a faded memory and you will move on with your life.

10. "I hated the jerk anyway. I'm glad he's dead."

Now that you have some ideas for your sympathy messages, follow these steps to show your support and sympathy. This is the formula you can use to make your sympathy card message say what you want the receiver to understand.

1. Express Some Words Of Sympathy: Tell the receiver that you are sorry to hear about the loss. You might want to mention some positives of the person who died. An example could read: "I am sorry about John's passing. He was a blessing to me and a good friend for many years."
2. Express Your Feelings: Tell the receiver how you feel about the loss. This is really more of an empathy than a sympathy section. An example might be: "I was saddened when I heard that he died."
3. Add Words Of Support: Although sometimes words of support can seem cliche, it is a good idea to include this in your message. This will help the receiver from feeling alone and helpless. An example could be: "I would love to talk or hang out with you any time. Just let me know."
4. Close Your Message Of Sympathy: An example could be: "I know I don't know what you need right now, but my heart goes out to you." Sign it "Sincerely" or "Love," depending on who will get it.
   

If you decide to do anything else with your message besides the above, you may want to review it to make sure it is appropriate. Some things are not appropriate for sympathy cards. Keep the cliche's to a minimum, and write in conversational speech. Don't be patronizing, and don't ramble.